{{16/11/2007}{I feel you}}

Lesbians have taken over my home and hit on me in an absurdly frank manner of which I cannot help but to feel uncomfortable. I attract women everywhere I go, even when I don't 'go' anywhere and in fact, am just sitting in my room.

So to get what precious little time in with my roommate, A, I agree to babysit with her in Hoodbridge for my tattoo artist and his gf while they see Hank III in DC. Little do I know that said lesbians planned on descending upon us with strange food and not a single drop of beer. My enjoyable time of kicking back with my best friend was thwarted.

I almost die of boredom upon the 4th[!] episode of Law and Order and Jason rings me up. Says he knocked girlfriend out as she tried to jump out of the car going 70mph on 66. She was not dead and once reawakened, kicked out the windshield. He wants me there for damage control. Moi? not babysitter? He didn't even know that I was there and yet I'm expected to save him?

When they arrive she kicks and punches him until she's on the ground. I hold her, stroke her arm and reassure her that her kids aren't harmed or anywhere near the trainwreck that she is being. I carry her to the bathroom where she cries about failing Jason. How amazing he is, how giving and that she cannot reciprocate. She pees, she vents, I hold her and reassure her. Jason lays her in bed and I stroke her head until she is so soothed she cannot cry anymore and falls asleep. I feed J and reassure him as a terrible drug-dealing movie with John Leguizamo distracts us, relieves us of another Law and Order.

It was a terrrible moment. Not just R's drunken lashings or her pitiful self-disclosure with her pants around her ankles. But after she passed out in bed and I was left with J - a moment I could have taken but nothing could have willed me to do so. I didn't like that 'crossroads' feeling. I don't need to feel J needing me when R is asleep in another room and lesbians have gone to get us coffee.

It was a night I felt bad for being incapable of appreciating the [many] women who throw themselves at me and choosing to no longer acknowledge feelings I held for a man who could very well requite them.

Being diplomatic only seems to benefit those around me who are vulnerable.